It's Talk About It Tuesday. Let's talk about the power of self-love.
I remember growing up in the church and my very first solo was a song Whitney Houston sang titled The Greatest Love of All (singing). Yeah, I didn't get on here to sing. But the lyrics say, "I found the greatest love of all learning to love myself was the greatest love of all." Those lyrics are very powerful.
When I think about the power of self-love and just what it means, we live in a time where people think self-love is based on or focused around their lips, hips, and fingertips. But self-love has nothing to do with our outer exterior.
Self-love is about being able to show up where ever you are, as the deliciously bold woman of faith you are. Society wants us to think that you have to be a size eight to be considered a 10 in some men's eyes, but let me tell you why self-love is so important, especially when it comes to relationships.
This week, I've had the pleasure of speaking with some young women about life and love and their relationships. so I began speaking with them about how settling looks when it comes to life.
See, there was a young lady and she began sharing with me about her credit and how her credit had been messed up. I mean, really tore up from the floor up as she said for many years, but then she began working on her credit. She got a better job and she was able with this better paying job to really meet her financial obligations. So she decided it was time for her to get a new vehicle. So she went to the lot and the salesman after running her credit... Now mind you, her prior score was very low, but when she went to the dealership, her credit at this time was above a 700 score.
So with that score, you would think she'd be able to walk on the lot and get whatever she wanted. Well, she decided to go to this car lot and they tried to give her something they wanted her to have, not what she desired to have, but what they felt she could handle. After talking with someone she knows who is very good with crunching numbers, they told her to go back to the dealership and tell them, "This is what I'm working with and this is what I desire."
She did exactly what she was instructed to do. She showed up as the deliciously bold woman of faith she is. She produced what she needed so that she could get in the vehicle she desired. See society calls it settling and settling is really a spirit of unbelief. She was going to allow the car salesman to put her in anything, something she would not have been satisfied with.
But, oh my goodness, she had someone that she trusted in. She took the information to them, they were able to help her, give her some godly instruction that she needed so that she could, when she returned to the dealership, walk out of there with something she was proud to drive.
That is what you call belief. See, settling shows up in many ways in our lives, it shows up with going to a dealership and them trying to press something on you that you don't want. It shows up in you living in the neighborhood or in the house you don't desire. It even shows up in waiting on a man, settling or that spirit of unbelief can show up at any time in any place. That's why the power of self-love is so important. When you are operating in self-love, that means you've built yourself up to the point where nobody can tell you what you should have.
So that means even though society is saying, "You need to be a size eight to be considered a 10." Or, "You need to be making a six-figure salary to attract a high whatever, a high-value man." That is not true. It's according to what you believe. When you believe, and that's what self-love is, it's not about the external things. It's about what you believe on the inside.
So if you believe that you are worthy of a wedding ring and not just being someone's girlfriend until the end, then you have to maintain or build up your self-love so that you won't be like that story I heard about the man who put the girlfriend up on the shelf for 28 years, and now he's realized that he's beyond 70 and so now he needs a caretaker.
No, when you love yourself, you'll be able to say, "Guess what my table is laid, it's spread. You can either decide to eat at it or not. Either way, I'm going to be all right." The power of self-love, it's about building yourself up. That's why it's important for us as women to wake up every morning and affirm who we are. I am the righteousness of God. I'm the head and not the tail, above only and never beneath. I can have whatsoever I desire.
Yes, see, we've come to a place, so many people have come to a place where they allow society to dictate their worth. Society has a way of looking at our past to try to predicate the promise of God, but the promise of God is not predicated on our past. If God made you a promise and you desire a Godly spouse, what needs to happen is you have to shake off that spirit of unbelief, which a lot of people look at it as settling, but it's really a spirit of unbelief.
Being in a relationship with someone just for the sake of being in a relationship, is the spirit of unbelief. Getting in a relationship because you feel like your clock is tick-tocking and not stopping. That's the spirit of unbelief. You do not have to settle. I just stopped by on this Talk About It Tuesday to remind you of whose you are. When you learn how to build yourself up and truly love yourself from the inside out, you'll be able to show up as the deliciously bold woman of faith you are. And guess what? Settling will no longer be a part of your vocabulary. You will just be able to float on.
question to you today is what does self-love look like to you and how do you get to a place in life where nothing and no one can move you from what you are believing God for? Self-love, it is an inside job.
Dear sister, whatever you do during your dating season, make sure you collect enough data to make a wise decision. Don't let the enemy derail you from your designed destiny in God because our relationships matter.
As a Christian relationship coach and founder of The Purposed Woman Inner Circle, I help lead women to their definition of relationship success so they can find rapture in the warmth in embrace of love rather than fear.
Hi, I'm Dr. Patricia Shaw. I began on this journey to inspire the soul of a woman, gently nudging her to overcome her limiting beliefs so she could attract a life partner who fulfills her heart and needs on every level. Relationships have the ability to raise us up and elevate our being to new heights, but only if they are entered into with readiness and intention.
If you've been burnt, scorched, or broken by failed relationships in the past, let's connect. Part of manifesting relationships with purpose starts within. By pacifying the war on love that many women struggle with in their minds you can begin to lay a foundation of a life filled with abundant bliss.
As a result, you'll unveil a more confident, collected, and charismatic version of yourself all while cherishing the individuality of your soul. To learn more about what we can achieve together click the link below. I look forward to welcoming you to an empowered community of women who await. Until next time, take care.
