The ONLY Way To Attract A Healthy, Meaningful Relationship | Relationship Goals

Relationship Goals

While listening to a podcast interview on The School of Greatness with Judge Faith Jenkins, who is now at the helm of the longest-running court show on TV-Divorce Court, she revealed why 70% of relationships don't last. 

In the interview, Judge Jenkins said, "If you want to do something well and be great at it, you prepare for it. Relationships are no different." This statement was a homerun to me because that's what I've been teaching women to do for many years; prepare for marriage before Mr. Right comes along.

You see, relationships take skill. And like any skill, it takes time, effort, and practice to get good at it. Just as you wouldn't go into an important business meeting without preparing first, you shouldn't enter marriage without being marriage ready. She also said, "you don't attract healthy relationships. You create them." And that's absolutely true, but how do you create a healthy relationship?

It starts with you. The key to having a healthy relationship begins with knowing who you are and what you want. Suppose you don't know who you are as an individual in a relationship. In that case, you will become who you think he wants you to be, which is a relationship destined for disaster. Have you ever heard someone say, "I lost myself in that relationship?" That is because they were never really themselves, to begin with.


In a relationship, losing yourself is easy when you don't fully understand what you want or how to get what you want. It took me years to learn this lesson, but I did. As women, we are programmed from a young age to put everyone else's needs ahead of our own. We are taught that our job is to make everyone happy and that our worth is based on how well we do it. It is no wonder that so many women have difficulty finding and keeping love because we've seen other women operate like this, and we follow in their footsteps.

You make a choice to love; love is not a feeling. And your choice to love is something you have to work on every day. If you love yourself first and foremost, then you will be able to love another person the way they deserve to be loved – unconditionally and without reservations.

So, where do you begin?
Self-love. It sounds simple enough, but many women go through life without truly loving and accepting themselves. Without self-love, giving or receiving love in its purest form is impossible.

So how do you start on the path to self-love?

The first step is acknowledging that you are worthy of love. Remember that you are not perfect, and that is okay. You are allowed to make mistakes, and you are allowed to learn from them. Self-love is not about being perfect. It is about accepting yourself for who you are – flaws and all.

The second step is recognizing that you deserve self-love. You do not have to earn it or prove you are worthy of it. It is something that you are entitled to simply because you exist. Self-love is not a privilege; it is a right.

The third step is learning how to love yourself. This can be done in many ways, but some suggestions include: being kind to yourself, forgiving yourself, treating yourself with respect, and taking care of yourself physically and emotionally.

Self-love is not always easy, but it is definitely worth it. Start small and be patient with yourself. The most important thing is to keep moving forward on the path to self-love. Beating yourself up will only hold you back from loving yourself. So be gentle with yourself, show yourself some compassion, and most importantly, keep going.

Self-love is a journey, not a destination; the more you practice it, the easier it will become. So keep moving forward, one step at a time, and you will get there eventually. Self-love is definitely worth the effort.

Remember, when you can see the light in yourself, others will be drawn to it too. So start shining your light today!

Dear Single Christian Woman

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