Don’t believe the hype, you are worthy of love.  Listen, there’s a man out there who is ready, willing, and able to give you the love you deserve and desire, but what’s happening is you’re scrolling all over social media and your mind is everywhere.

See, when you wander, it leaves you wondering, what’s really going on.

Let me be the first to tell you, that it does not matter what someone else believes, the only thing that matters is what you believe.

It may be a fact that your time clock is tick-tocking and not stopping, It may be a fact you’ve met some men who just didn’t quite sit well in your spirit, honey, it may even be a fact that it appears he’s nowhere in sight, but listen to me closely, you might wanna lean in on this……come on, lean in….now, let’s talk!

Hi, I’m Dr. Patricia Shaw, a Christian Relationship Coach, and I help lead women to their definition of relationship success so they can find rapture in the warm embrace of love rather than fear it.  

So what's keeping many single women from getting the love they desire? One Word. Fear. F.E.A.R. False Evidence Appearing Real. F-E-A-R.! Mixed with what I like to call, “limiting beliefs”

I receive emails from women all over the country, thank you, and this is a response that came as a result of a question I posed to the emailer.

It says, “Dr. Shaw, I was in an uncommitted relationship with a man for more than 10 years. I wanted marriage but he didn’t. When I spoke with you, you asked me what was it about that uncommitted relationship that made me feel like I didn’t deserve better?"

"I disrespected myself, I tried to buy affection, I had no courage, low self-esteem, I didn’t value myself, I allowed men to misuse me and abuse me and I was a clingy person. Fear told me to believe everything that was told to me, I was ugly, I wouldn’t find anyone, I was stupid, and so on. I didn’t know what to look for in a man and I didn’t know what I wanted in a relationship because all my relationships were unhealthy. But after diving into the questions you gave me to answer I realized, I never healed from previous and past relationships.”

How many women can say, they almost made a man love them? Millions. This woman was in an uncommitted relationship for many years, and she finally found the courage to walk away. The question I was led to ask her was, “what was it about that relationship that made you feel you didn’t deserve better?” 

See, it’s easy to point the finger at him and say what he did or didn’t do, but when you’re able to own up to the part you played in that failed relationship, then and only then can you heal from your broken heart and move on once and for all.

So, what kept her in that uncommitted relationship for years? One word. FEAR. Fear, or limiting beliefs will keep you parked in a place you were never supposed to be. It’s like parking in a space that says “occupied for Bonita” but your name is Lillie. Get it?

 As a woman, when you don’t know your worth or recognize who you are, you attract people into your life that don’t know your worth either and so they misuse you because fear has you believing you don’t deserve better because of something that happened in your past.

As someone who knows what it’s like to be in a toxic dating relationship, I know how the emailer felt.

As a woman, you must remember, that your connections can make you or break you, build you up or tear you down and when you are connected to the wrong person, instead of growing, you end up groaning! Groaning because that connection was not of God. Groaning because you occupied a space that didn’t have your name on it.

Limiting beliefs show up in many ways like:

• Doubting there are genuine men who don't play games • Wondering if God will ever come through • Starting something with someone when you’re not healed from the past • Wondering if you'll ever find love again • Thinking thoughts like, “I'm a good catch so why isn't anyone catching me? • “I’m running out of time • Falling for someone who isn't ready for true love •

These are all beliefs, underlined in fear and that my sister seems to be the number one reason many women who desire marriage are still single. Fear will have you hiding out when you think you’re being hidden by God. Fear will keep you in a relationship when you know it expired and you’re tired.  Fear will have you believing there are no good men in society. Fear will have you trading a lonesome night for a long night with the wrong man.

So, before you can get in a position to receive the love you desire and deserve, you’ve got to rid yourself of the limiting beliefs that want to keep you on the emotional dating roller coaster.

Question: Do You Recognize Any Beliefs You Might Have About Relationships That Might Be Keeping You From The Love You Desire?

Let me know in the comments below.